Tell me again how gigantic I am…or 8 things not to say to a pregnant woman.

You guys, I’m 36 weeks pregnant. By all technicalities, I’ll officially be entering the realm of “full term” next Wednesday, although I think Bubbles still has some baking to do. Like most almost-there pregnant gals, I’m feeling pretty uncomfortable (understatement!) and can’t exactly walk normally. I try to keep this a positive place and while I feel really blessed to have another sweet gal who is healthy and staying put until she’s ready, it’s time for a bit of rant.

You see, lately I’ve been getting plenty of comments about my appearance, specifically my large belly which is all out front. No woman wants to hear about how gigantic she is, even if it’s with the friendliest of intentions and for the best possible reason. So here is a list of 8 things not to say to a pregnant woman:

Here are 8 things not to say to a pregnant woman along with ideas of what to say instead!

1. “You’re huge!”- Come on now. Isn’t this the most obvious? Why in the world anyone would think it’s a good idea to ever comment to another person about their body is beyond me. But this happens even more often when you’re pregnant. Yes, I’m gestating a baby. What’s your excuse?

What to say instead- “You’re glowing.”

2. “Are you sure there’s only one in there?” (or any other implication that you’re carrying twins or even triplets- I actually got the double whammy of “oh-its-not-twins-it-must-be-triplets” during my pregnancy with A. Look dude, I’ve had three scans already that very clearly showed a single baby. They were performed by a very competent tech and and interpreted by an amazing team of doctors. Also, see #1…

What to stay instead- “You look radiant.”

3. “You look ready…”- So by ready, you mean exhausted, sore, huge, swollen and any other unattractively descriptive terms. Thanks. That’s just what I needed to hear right now.

What to say instead- “How exciting, it’s almost time to meet your baby!”

4. “Look at that waddle!”- Yes, this baby enjoys punching my bladder. And various nerves which cause my general pelvic region and joints to leave me in a constant state of soreness, discomfort and often a lot of pain. Thank you for noticing! Once again, see #1.

What to say instead- “Can I get that for you?”

5. “I don’t even know why you bother buying maternity clothes, just get a bunch of large, old t’shirts”- This was another one from my first pregnancy. It was an older woman working at the Gap in Lake Placid, NY. I inquired as to whether they carried their maternity line in that particular store. She looked me up and down and made the above comment in the snarkiest possible voice. Maybe I was feeling a bit sensitive (although probably not, I was only around 26 weeks at that point) but the implication was that I shouldn’t bother trying to wear stylish clothes because they clearly wouldn’t help. Awesome.

What to say instead- “I’m sorry, we don’t carry those in the store but they are online.”

6. “Are you going to make it to (insert due date here)?”- Well I certainly hope so, especially for the healthy of my baby. Thanks for reminding me that every day, millions of babies are born prematurely and are fighting for their lives, and as if I hadn’t said it enough, see #1.

What to say instead- “How exciting, you’re almost there!”

7. “Oh you’re not sleeping well? It’s only going to get worse”- I love starting the day with your healthy dose of optimism (sarcasm). Yes, I’m perfectly aware that sleep is pretty much not unheard of when you have a newborn. But I don’t additional negativity thrown my way, because most of us also know that the blessing of a precious baby outweighs the negatives like no sleep. Maybe try making a supportive comment instead.

What to say instead- “Hang in there, it’s only temporary.”

8. “Can I take a picture of you?”- Now this can seem innocent enough. But it’s all about the tone in which it was said and the context. In my case it was coupled with a comment about my size (do I even need to mention referencing #1 at this point?) and when I politely declined, she then said she was going to get a picture when I wasn’t looking and proceeded to tell me I should be proud to be “all belly” as if that made her previous comment any less rude (and then spent the rest of the day walking by me and making her hands into a camera, pretending to snap a photo of me when I walked by and laughing as though no funnier moment has ever occurred. Hilarious.)

What to say instead- Nothing. Seriously, stop talking, your privileges have been revoked.

Look guys and gals, I know I’m full of raging, sometimes unladylike hormones. But come on. Lets at least have a little tact and think before we start running our mouth to people who are likely right in the thick of one of the more uncomfortable stages of their life.

What asinine things did people say to you when you were (or are) pregnant? How did you respond?

Check out all of my pregnancy related posts here.

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12 Comments

  • Reply
    Dom
    February 19, 2016 at 11:45 am

    God – people can be so insensitive. I love when I get asked if I’m pregnant. I’m not. I’m 5’8″ and 128lbs. Are you blind?

    • Reply
      Jessy
      February 22, 2016 at 11:36 am

      OH my goodness- people should really know better than that! That’s insane!

  • Reply
    Jean | DelightfulRepast.com
    February 19, 2016 at 12:55 pm

    I’ve always wondered where so many people got the idea that it’s okay to touch the belly of a pregnant woman they don’t even know! Even if it’s a friend or relative excitedly saying, “the baby is kicking,” I wait for an invitation. Just common sense!
    Jean | DelightfulRepast.com recently posted…Fresh Strawberry Frosting – For My Sixth Blogiversary CakeMy Profile

    • Reply
      Jessy
      February 22, 2016 at 11:36 am

      Oh my gosh, I’m so glad strangers haven’t tried touching my belly- that would not end well for them, I’m really big on personal space (though, I don’t my close friends and family- but they all know enough to ask!).

  • Reply
    Sarah Eliza
    February 19, 2016 at 2:52 pm

    Oh my GOSH. .. people are SO rude! This post is the perfect mix of humor, just indignation, and encouragement.

    (I especially want to slap the camera lady. …)

    If you felt like it, I would love to have you come link up at the #fridayfrivolity blog party I help host!

    PS so excited for you! You’ll be meeting your baby so soon! And you look radiant! 🙂
    Sarah Eliza recently posted…Friday Frivolity Everything Elephants Edition – Plus the LINK-UP BLOG PARTY for all things fun, funny, happy & hopeful!My Profile

    • Reply
      Jessy
      February 22, 2016 at 11:34 am

      Thank you! Yeah, the camera lady day was NOT a banner day in general! I’ll check out your link party 🙂

  • Reply
    Huub Ricardo
    February 20, 2016 at 12:31 pm

    LOL…the none pregnant people like myself will always have our foot in our mouth. The first one is certainly something i once said to one of my friends. Thank you for putting me in line 🙂
    Huub Ricardo recently posted…Friday LookoutsMy Profile

    • Reply
      Jessy
      February 22, 2016 at 11:33 am

      Awwww, I’m sure you’re not that bad with it. I’m more open to having a sense of humor with friends and family.

  • Reply
    Karen
    February 21, 2016 at 1:27 pm

    It really is amazing how it can be so hurtful if we don’t choose our words carefully. Thanks for sharing. Thanks for sharing at Let’s Get Real Link Party.
    Karen recently posted…Savvy Health Roundup #5My Profile

    • Reply
      Jessy
      February 22, 2016 at 11:31 am

      I agree- I try to be careful about what I say!

  • Reply
    Alyssa
    February 22, 2016 at 7:20 pm

    Why do people comment on a pregnant lady’s size to begin with? People say things like “oh you don’t even look pregnant” like it’s a compliment but then I take it to mean either A. I’m just fat or B. The baby isn’t growing enough. And the belly touches at work. Just stop.
    Alyssa recently posted…Our 24 hour vacationMy Profile

    • Reply
      Jessy
      February 23, 2016 at 5:15 pm

      I’m with you there! Best to play it safe and not say anything at all!

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