Getting pregnant was no simple task. We tried for just over 1.5 years. It was a difficult time for us, to say the least. Everyone around us was getting pregnant, and it seemed so easy for everyone except for us. The longer we went without becoming pregnant, the harder it got. It seemed as though everyone wanted to know when we were planning to start a family.
We didn’t exactly open up to our friends and family until the last couple months before a was conceived. To be honest, once we finally did come out and say what was going on, the support was unending. It certainly didn’t solve our problem of not yet being parents, but it was wonderful to know that everyone was pulling for us.
In October of 2013 we headed out to California. We spent the first couple days in Sacramento enjoying some quality time with J’s parents, his sister and her husband and our nephews. We then drove down the coast to enjoy a couple of days alone exploring Carmel, Monterey, and Big Sur; finally ending up in Atascadero to celebrate the nuptials of our dear friends Ryan and Tamara (J was in the wedding). We then headed back up to Sacramento to have a couple more days with my in-laws before returning to Rochester.
Looking back, I should have seen the clues that I could be pregnant. I was pretty tired the whole trip, and I figured it was just jet lag combined with the extra hours I was putting in before I left. Everything was turning me in to a sobby mess. I remember being on the flight out to California and I was reading a memoir about the Kennedy’s and just falling apart. I remember trying on some of Nicole’s shirts and saying how big my boobs were and how bloated I was. She actually called me out at that point and told me I was totally pregnant. I brushed it off saying that I should be getting my period any day now and the other times that I took those things as a sign of pregnancy, it ended up being my period and I was disappointed each time.
On our drive down the coast we stayed for the night in Carmel and had a nice dinner date at a really great restaurant on the ocean in Monterey. Being a person who loves food, when I get to go out to a nice dinner (which is rare considering our budget) I always look forward to getting all sorts of great things and really look over the menu before finalizing my entree. I always have a hard time deciding because I usually want everything. This time, however, nothing even sounded good. I ended up choosing a couple of appetizers because I had zero appetite. I even craved white wine, which is totally out of character for me- I almost always favor a nice, dry red. I kept saying “I don’t know what is going on with me. I’m just so tired and have no appetite!” It was an overall “blah” feeling.
Right before we headed into Atascadero, the day of the rehearsal dinner, we stopped in Morro Bay for lunch. This is a special place for J as he used to camp there for Cross Country when he was a teenager, so he was excited to stop and show me around a bit. Again, nothing appealed to eat but I settled on a BLT. A big part about why I went for the BLT is because I tend to get social anxiety and I didn’t want anything that could potentially upset my stomach later at the rehearsal dinner. BLT’s tend to be a safe bet for me. We got to the hotel and I immediately had to rush upstairs to use the bathroom because the BLT was just not sitting well (remember that first trimester diarrhea I mentioned here?).
The wedding weekend was great, though exhausting (I may or may not have started falling asleep during a game of Cards Against Humanity after the rehearsal dinner, right there at the table). On our drive home, I started feeling very uncomfortable and realized that I had UTI.
I was hoping it was a fluke but the next day it wasn’t much better. Needless to say it was long day spent at a pumpkin patch with no bathrooms except for a port-a-potty (it was fun hanging with our family but rough with a UTI). After attempting to reach out to my primary care physician in Rochester and dealing with another doctor in the practice who was very rude to me, I ended up having to go to the urgent care as I really didn’t want to be uncomfortable for our long flight home the next day.
My mood had reached its nastiest by the time I arrived. The only thing that calmed me down was the fact that they had Disney’s 101 Dalmatians playing in the waiting room (LOVE!). I gave a urine sample and eventually the nurse came out to leave me back. He asked J if he was coming and J said no. When we got to the room we went over my medical history. He asked if I could be pregnant and I launched into the whole story about having a hard time getting pregnant and how everyone this weekend was asking and I got a little teary at this point. I then said I should be getting my period any day but I didn’t think I was pregnant. He said he’d leave that as unsure.
Eventually he left and the doctor came in. He had a dry sense of humor, which made me like him right away. We went through my medical history once again and I gave him the same pregnancy explanation. He replied with, “well lets look” and opened his file and then said “Oh look, you’re pregnant.”
I immediately started crying and said “No.” and I think he got a little nervous because he just said “yes.” I told him that would be a mean joke to play on me and he showed me the test strip that they used on my urine sample next to that of an anonymous patient who was not pregnant. Huge difference.
By now the nurse popped in and apologized for not telling me right away since technically the doctor had to be the one to give a diagnosis (which I understood). He asked if I wanted him to get my husband and then went to get him. J seemed nervous when he came in (he later told me that he knew them bringing him either meant that something was wrong or that I was pregnant). The doctor told him the news (I was still in shock). There were happy tears and a prescription for the UTI. On the way home, J said that he wanted to carve it into a pumpkin to tell his family (as we were heading back to carve pumpkins with the boys).
When we got back, Nicole offered me a cocktail that she made with the pomegranates that are growing in their yard. I turned it down, blaming my UTI prescription. She gave me a weird look but didn’t really push it (I pretty much never turn down a cocktail from her as we enjoy having cocktails together whenever we are visiting). J finally carved it into a pumpkin and when he showed everyone there many happy tears. We told my family when we arrived home and the news was also met with happy tears.
Since it was so early (5 weeks when we found out), we really didn’t tell anyone else besides a few close friends until after our first appointment at 10 weeks. Happiness all around!