Guys, I’m totally drowning. Last week A was diagnosed with Hand, Foot and Mouth disease. Poor baby was pretty miserable, I should have known something was up. Then she passed it onto J who spent much of the weekend and all of this week so far, in bed. The sores in his throat are leaving him in a horrible amount of pain.
In addition to a lot of things happening at work, the laundry is piled up. Our living room has been taken over by toys. I’ve failed at bringing my own lunch to work for too many days in a row to count and am ashamed to have bought lunch from the cafeteria each day (I don’t regret the fact that it was delicious but I try not to spend the money!). Life is taking over and I can’t keep up
Under normal circumstances, I spend much of my week counting down to the weekend and cursing the fact that I get such a small window of time on week nights to squeeze in an inadequate amount of family time. Our weekends are spent trying to find a balance between getting things done around the house, catching up with friends and family and trying to keep A somewhat on her normal routine. We generally don’t fully succeed.
But this is new. This is definitely the first time that one of the two functioning adults in the home got sick around the time that the baby was finishing up being sick. I was totally unprepared for this and while I already super-respected single parents, I must reiterate how much I applaud you guys!
I’m not writing this to whine or seek pity. The fact that our family is truly blessed in a ton of different ways does not escape me. I also don’t have a lesson to leave you with or some fantastic light-bulb moment that will change the face of parenting as we know it.
I just want to take a second to document this time. It is madness and it’s quite the mess. But it is our mess. And it’s a beautiful mess. Someday, our kids will be out on their own in the world. Adulting, as they say. Our house will be quiet and clean. There will be no laundry pile. No toys taking over our living room. I suspect I will miss our beautiful mess.
So here’s a little note to my much older, hopefully wiser, empty-nester self to find later on:
Jess, you had a rough day yesterday, out in the world. You pulled into the driveway, completely and utterly exhausted. But when you got into the house, your little girl was waiting with a huge smile and a big, wet, baby kiss complete with A’s own kissing sound effect (“mmmmmmmmmmwuh!”). This is everything right now. It is such a completely beautiful mess. Bask in your silence but remember that giant, toothy grin and the cheeks that extend out for miles when your sweet girl could not stop giggling. Life may have been a mess, but man, was it a beautiful mess.