As you may remember, J made his debut here at The Life Jolie when he wrote about supporting Mama through delivery and the postpartum period. I’m so excited to have him back once again to talk about surviving pregnancy from Daddy’s point of view. As many of you have probably figured out, J has been my absolute rock through both of these pregnancies. Hopefully this can provide some insight for those New Daddies out there who are trying to figure it all out now that their wife is pregnant. Take it away, J:
Pregnancy can be a very difficult time for women and it is often frustrating for men to grasp what Mama is going through. We are actually in the home stretch of Pregnancy #2 as I write this, but the information I plan to provide should relate regardless if this is your first time or not. The following list is what I found helpful to maintain sanity during pregnancy and how it benefits both of you.
Let Her Sleep
For Her: Mama is going to get very tired. Stay mindful that there is essentially a parasite feeding off her, taking her nutrients (From Jessy- Yes, he totally compared our baby to a parasite and this is kind of logical if you think about it- we might be horrible people but babies pretty much do take your nutrients the way parasites do!). This may require watching movies or playing video games at a reduced level. During pregnancy #2, I have jumped out of bed on the weekends and taken our daughter downstairs to play so Jessy can get another hour of sleep. Those hours will add up and hopefully equal a happy Mama!
For Him: Take advantage of this time to do something manly like re-organizing your power tools or combing your beard!
Indulge Her Cravings
For Her: If you thought your Lady was crazy, just wait until her cravings kick in. Do not judge her. Do not fight her on them. With this pregnancy, Jessy has loved to chew ice. It is possibly one of the most irritating sounds I have come across in recent years to hear her chew ice – imagine watching television and all you hear is the chomping, grinding and crunching of ice. I know if makes her happy in this difficult time, so I let it go and offer refills when needed. Indulge these cravings and try to benefit from them, too! I always find benefits in keeping the freezer well stocked with ice cream. (From Jessy- Guilty as charged and I totally hate it too but I also cannot stop! I’m probably destroying my teeth in addition to poor J’s sanity- sorry honey!)
For Him: Don’t miss the opportunity to make a run to Taco Bell or buy 12 pounds of gummy worms due to a craving!
Handle the Chores
For Her: Without our bodies going through major adjustments, it’s easy to lose sight as a man, of the challenges that Mama faces in pregnancy. Her body is going through a lot and basic chores become increasingly difficult. For example, I’ve gone out of my way to take care of as much laundry as possible. The last thing I want is for Jessy to deal with going up and down the stairs while carrying a laundry basket. I have even had to get on her case for overdoing it. Don’t be afraid to step up and refuse to allow her to take on some of these tasks. I would not be able to live with myself if she fell trying to do laundry and something happened to her or the baby.
For Him: Bring your cell phone with you to the laundry room for bonus time to play Clash of Clans in peace!
For Her: She will go through a roller coaster of emotions and hormones, including doubting herself at times. Do not let her get down on herself and make sure to continuously compliment her. Remind her of how beautiful you think she is. Your compliments will also help counter the idiotic comments she will receive from others.
For Him: Maybe it will result in sexy-time! Maybe…
For Her: I mentioned previously that her body will be going through changes – she will be uncomfortable all the time. Find ways to help her ease this pain by offering massages or warming up heating pads. Forfeit a pillow if you need to. In the end, these small gestures will go a long way in her comfort throughout the pregnancy.
For Him: Maybe it will result in sexy-time! Still only maybe…
Join Her at the Doctor’s Appointments
For Her: I have been pretty bad about this in Pregnancy #2 (from Jessy- no he hasn’t, he’s only missed 2 appointments out of many!) but do not underestimate the importance of being at the doctor’s appointments. You will have the pleasure of hearing your baby’s heartbeat at each appointment. You also do not want her to be there alone if bad news comes along. I could not imagine leaving Jessy all alone if we were to get any potentially difficult news in these appointments. Do not forget that you are in this together and make sure she feels that with your actions.
For Him: Bonus hours away from work that your boss can’t really question!
This list could probably go on to be much longer, but by focusing on some easy steps like the ones I’ve listed you can make strides in helping throughout the pregnancy. In the end, never lose sight of the changes her body is going through and the strain it puts on her physically and emotionally. Remove yourself from the equation of things that may upset Mama and you’ll be able to consistently stand out as a strong source of support for her during the pregnancy.
Thank you J for sharing your insight- A, Bubbles and I could not be more lucky to have a man like you at the helm of our family!
Check out all of my pregnancy related posts here.
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